The Addiction to Being Needed: Why Women Entrepreneurs Struggle to Let Go

If you’re a woman building a business, a family, a dream, or all of the above, today’s topic might land right in the center of your chest.

I’m recording a new episode of The Real soon, and I want to bring you behind the scenes of a concept that has been rattling in my mind for months:

The Addiction to Being Needed.

We don’t talk about this one enough… probably because it feels flattering, virtuous, or even holy to be the woman everyone depends on. But behind that “selfless helper” identity lives a truth that is shaping our businesses, our energy, and our potential more than we realize.

And if you’re anything like the women I coach — and the woman I’ve been most of my life — this one is sneaky. It hides under kindness. It hides under capability. It hides under “I don’t mind, I can help.” But it costs us. And sometimes, it costs us the very things we say we want.

Let’s Be Honest… We Used to Love Being Needed

Remember the early days of motherhood?Those tiny hands tugging on us…The “Mom! Mom! MOM!” every five minutes…The constant crisis-of-the-hour?

It was exhausting — yes — but it also gave us a role. A purpose. A place in the house.

But now?

We’re entrepreneurs.

Our responsibilities have shifted from “make sure everyone eats” to “build a six-seven-figure company, manage employees, keep clients happy, market yourself, innovate, stay visible, and try to remember to drink water.”

Being needed doesn’t always feel cute anymore.

In fact, sometimes it:

• interrupts our flow

• derails our focus

• hijacks our calendar

• and quietly chips away at our goals

But… it still feeds our ego just a little, doesn’t it?

Helping feels good.Being appreciated feels good.Being the go-to woman feels good.

That’s why this becomes an addiction — not a habit.

The Sneakiest Part? It Looks Like Kindness

In my work, I’ve noticed something in myself, in my team, and in the women I coach:There are a LOT of capable, loving, brilliant women doing a LOT of nice things…

…and underneath that kindness is something else driving the car.

Being needed makes us feel secure.Being needed makes us feel valuable.Being needed makes us feel like we’re doing life “right.”

But if we’re honest, being needed also gives us:

✔ control✔ validation✔ purpose✔ identity

And here’s the kicker…

Sometimes we’re so addicted to being needed that we accidentally stunt our own growth:

We take on too much. We don’t delegate. We don’t let the kids try. We don’t let our team lead. We solve a problem before someone even asks. We rescue instead of empower. We say yes because the room expects it. Meanwhile our businesses, our goals, our dreams — the ones we claim we’re building for our families — sit in the back seat waiting for us to stop rescuing everyone else.

Ouch.

Why This Matters for Women in Business

When I created the Mindset Rehab series, I didn’t want to talk about fluffy mindset. I wanted to talk about the real psychological patterns women entrepreneurs face — the ones nobody prepared us for.

The Addiction to Being Needed is one of the most damaging because:

It steals our time.

We can’t grow if we’re constantly responding to someone else’s urgency.

It steals our energy.

Your business doesn’t thrive on scraps of whatever is left over after you’ve served everyone else.

It steals our identity.

If your value only comes from being needed, you never learn who you are when you’re free.

And it steals our confidence.

Being needed feels like success, but it quietly keeps you from experiencing real success.

This episode is going to break open those patterns — not with shame, but with curiosity, compassion, and truth.

A Preview of the Episode

Here’s a little of what I’m exploring inside the upcoming podcast:

• Why women emotionally attach themselves to being needed

• How “over-helping” becomes a form of emotional control

• The link between being needed and burnout

• Why your brain loves this pattern (even when you don’t)

• How to build a business that doesn’t collapse if you’re not in the room

• How to shift from being needed → being trusted

• And how to reclaim your identity outside of “the one who takes care of everything”

This episode isn’t just for moms. It’s for every woman who feels stretched thin, resentful, exhausted, and secretly afraid that if she stops helping… everything might fall apart.

The Truth: You Aren’t Here to Be Needed. You’re Here to Be YOU.

You’re here to build. You’re here to grow. You’re here to create. You’re here to lead. You’re here to be the woman your future self will thank you for being.

Being needed might have been your identity once.

But it doesn’t have to be your destiny.

Stay Tuned for the Full Episode

The Addiction to Being Needed is coming soon to The Real with Sally Luehman, part of the Mindset Rehab series.

If this blog hit something inside you — good.That’s exactly where we start.

Your next breakthrough is going to happen in the place where you finally ask:

“What if being needed isn’t who I am — it’s just what I got used to?”

And what comes after that question? Freedom. Growth. And a business that doesn’t rely on your exhaustion to succeed.

Stay tuned — this episode is going to be a big one.

Empowering women, one thought at a time.

 Sally Luehman

 Founder & Mindset Coach, Headquarters Coaching LLC

 Business Coaching for Women Entrepreneurs

 📞 608-547-8098

 🌐 coachingworks.net

 📧 sally@coachingworks.net