The Reinventer Archtype

“I think something is changing.”

The Reinventer has usually already built a pretty full life. She may have raised a family, built a career or business, taken care of other people, accomplished things she's proud of and created a life that, from the outside, looks pretty good.

And it probably is good.

But then something changes.

The kids leave. A career that used to be exciting feels different. A relationship changes. She reaches a goal she spent years working toward and realizes she hasn't really thought about what comes after it.

She isn't necessarily unhappy. She may just be looking around at her life and thinking, “Okay...now what?”

When Life Doesn't Fit Quite the Same

I think we sometimes make this feeling mean something is wrong. We tell ourselves we should be grateful. We have a good life. Why isn't that enough? But wanting to reconsider something doesn't mean you don't appreciate what you already have.

Sometimes you've simply changed. The tricky part is that we can become very attached to the identities we've built. Mom. Business owner. Wife. Realtor. Caregiver. Successful person. The dependable one. When one of those roles changes, it can feel strange to ask yourself what you want now.

And you don't have to immediately know the answer.

You Don't Have to Reinvent Everything

I used to think change needed a plan. Decide where you're going, make the list and start checking the boxes.

I'm not so sure anymore. Sometimes clarity comes from paying attention to what you're curious about. Trying something. Having a conversation. Taking a class. Saying yes to something you normally wouldn't—or saying no to something you've been doing for years. You learn a little more about yourself and decide from there. That's very different from blowing up your life because you're restless.

The Reinventor doesn't need to become someone new. She may simply need the space to figure out who she is now, without assuming the answer has to look anything like the life she created ten or twenty years ago.

You Get to Change Your Mind

This may be one of my favorite things about getting older. We know more. Something you wanted at 30 doesn't have to be what you want at 50. A goal that once mattered enormously can stop mattering. You can love the business you built and decide you want to spend less time working in it. You can adore being a mother and discover parts of yourself when your children no longer need you in the same way. None of that makes the earlier version of you wrong.

She made choices based on what she knew and wanted then. You get to make choices based on what you know and want now.

Reinvention doesn't have to mean starting over. Sometimes it's simply noticing what has changed and giving yourself permission to respond to it.

A Question to Think About

What feels different about what you want now compared with what you wanted five or ten years ago?

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